Sunday, September 10, 2006

post-csc yellows

Hmm, i wonder why there is a colour for being sad, but none for being happy. i shall call it yellow then. Yesterday (in fact for most of the week), i haven't been doing my homework. today i'll have to chao bia already. but i feel happy. i no longer feel burdened by the homework. there is a sense of fatalism. just fuck it. ytd i did a lot of good things and i felt quite happy. so i helped a lot of pple. so i went to minds despite having to go there myself. lots of positive things. death is not a problem. no one should fear death if he lives his life to the fullest. May the croc hunter's spirit always live on!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Post forum blues

Post forum blues. Why did a guy get into an epileptic fit during the forum? Made me lose my confidence that i never had. i didn't dare to tell them to push his head back even though that was what i thought jie jie told me. End of the day though, it seems like it wasn't the correct thing to do anyway. So maybe it wasn't such a bad decision after all. But I guess I should have at least shouted for help. I just stoned there. Not much of a leader. Not much of anything.

I wanted to meet like-minded people. Suddenly there were so many of them. But yet, something is still missing. Maybe I just want success so badly. I forget the road to success is what's most interesting. But I still have a vision. I know alot of pple don't even have that. That's why they get overwhelmed by school. They cannot see beyond grades. I can. The world is so much bigger than what we see now.

I know i can't speak well and can't grab pple's attention. but i can improve. i can learn. And for good or bad, this is what i am. My friend once told me, ' you win some, you lose some.' I may have lost a bit, but i know i've won a lot more. Courage must never leave me again. NO FEAR!