Kultur 'Shock' in Deutschland
I was in Germany for 8 months last year and experienced first-hand the cultural differences between the Germans and the culture we have here in Singapore (some call it 'Asian', but I don't know if it is fair to paint all Asians with the same brush).
I had my first culture shock in only my first week there. I was staying in a youth hostel and one night, it was so cold that I had trouble falling asleep. Then, I noticed that the lady next to me had opened the window above her bed. It was well below zero outside and I felt that even if the person had wanted to keep the window open, it would be unfair to everyone else in the dorm. So without further hesitation, I closed the window and went back to sleep.
The next morning, the lady was clearly in a foul mood. She complained to me that someone had closed the window the previous night and she was having a splitting headache as a result. Maybe my expression gave me away, but she immediately figured out that I was the culprit. What followed was a the first tongue lashing that I had ever received from a stranger. I was utterly dumbfounded and could only mutter 'Tut mir Leid (sorry)' repeatedly.
After she left, I reflected on this incident and found myself feeling really sore about being scolded. But then I realised that being straightforward is probably something normal in their culture. In contrast, Singaporeans would at most complain privately and would certainly refrain from directly criticising a person.
Although I didn't directly discuss this issue with a German, I saw many more examples of Germans being upfront and straightforward. One instance was in a supermarket where I was queuing up at the cashier. There was only 1 cashier and the queue was getting quite long. Suddenly, I head a lady's voice behind me that boomed (in German), "Hey, open up another line!". Immediately, one of the employees came out mumbling "all right, all right" and started up a new cashier station. That really impressed me... Firstly, because in Singapore, no one would have dared shout like that. And secondly, even if someone did, it would really make the cashier very unhappy. Yet in Germany, it was just something natural and no one was the worse for wear.
I had my first culture shock in only my first week there. I was staying in a youth hostel and one night, it was so cold that I had trouble falling asleep. Then, I noticed that the lady next to me had opened the window above her bed. It was well below zero outside and I felt that even if the person had wanted to keep the window open, it would be unfair to everyone else in the dorm. So without further hesitation, I closed the window and went back to sleep.
The next morning, the lady was clearly in a foul mood. She complained to me that someone had closed the window the previous night and she was having a splitting headache as a result. Maybe my expression gave me away, but she immediately figured out that I was the culprit. What followed was a the first tongue lashing that I had ever received from a stranger. I was utterly dumbfounded and could only mutter 'Tut mir Leid (sorry)' repeatedly.
After she left, I reflected on this incident and found myself feeling really sore about being scolded. But then I realised that being straightforward is probably something normal in their culture. In contrast, Singaporeans would at most complain privately and would certainly refrain from directly criticising a person.
Although I didn't directly discuss this issue with a German, I saw many more examples of Germans being upfront and straightforward. One instance was in a supermarket where I was queuing up at the cashier. There was only 1 cashier and the queue was getting quite long. Suddenly, I head a lady's voice behind me that boomed (in German), "Hey, open up another line!". Immediately, one of the employees came out mumbling "all right, all right" and started up a new cashier station. That really impressed me... Firstly, because in Singapore, no one would have dared shout like that. And secondly, even if someone did, it would really make the cashier very unhappy. Yet in Germany, it was just something natural and no one was the worse for wear.
The Phoney Bustard carpped on1:57 PM
5 Comments:
Hello Yi Han!
I would have been speechless if I was in your shoes! It must have been rather shocking to be spoken to in such a manner by a stranger.
I am not very clear about the inter-cultural conflict over here though. As your title suggests, it's more of a culture "shock" than a conflict. And it's also a shock, literally, because of the way the lady spoke to you!
But I must say that your post has brought up a key difference between the West and us - they are more outspoken than we are. This is something I have observed too. Do you think this has something to do with our culture and the 'Asian values'?
Hi Yi Han,
amazing that the Germans are so straight forward. It is good as they are bring out the problem ASAP and solve it on the spot instead of bottling it up (unlike Singaporeans). But they could have been more tactful about it, and use a more polite tone. This makes people more receptive to their "comments".
We should learn this from the Germans, except that we should be more polite in doing so.
Hi Yihan,
I've never been to Germany myself - but I do find that my German friends are generally pretty frank and forthright people too. (Of course, I think there are bound to be exceptions to the norm..)
Nevertheless - it must have been quite upsetting for you to get scolded in your first week in Germany. After that incident, did it feel awkward when you had to talk to her again? In fact, did you guys even talk again after that?
While being forthright is a cultural trait, I still find it pretty shocking that she would scold you despite not having known you for long. Yes, I think most Singaporeans would probably just grumble a little about this, and not voice out their displeasure so openly, especially in front of people they're not very close to or familiar with. You mentioned that she had a headache that day, so possibly that made her temper even shorter?
I think you handled it pretty well, for apologising promptly and not starting an argument withh her. Next time, do ask if you face a similar scenario (need to close the window/adjust the thermostat/etc) though!
Hey Yihan!
Closing the window makes you less "Asian" as well, don't you think? A typical Singaporean would have endured the cold and waited till the next morning before lashing out at the culprit behind his own uncomfortable sleep.
I believe that there are no hard feelings between you and the lady after the incident? They seem to forget as quickly as they speak their mind. Did you have a chance to explain your rationale to her for closing the window after she has cooled down?
Hey Yi Han,
That's a very scary experience. Out of curiosity, how old was the lady? (I have seen older people staying in hostels too!) I find that in general, older people tend to be less tactful when communicating with strangers, even in Singapore. The Germans I have met outside of Germany are SO nice that I can't really imagine them behaving like that. In fact, was the lady even German?
And regarding the cashier incident, I think the mainland Chinese behave in a similar manner too. Quite an efficient way to get what you want, huh? Singaporeans would probably complain to their friends/colleagues, and that's it.
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