First week of school is finally over! very hectic week i must admit. A bit high on the stress level. but partially its because of all the things that i have to do but have yet to get doing. but also because everyone is so hardworking. the work so far is a bit tough, but like s paper standard. usually i'll be able to take it in my stride, but with pple getting anxious left and right, it also gets to me. but i'm more confident in my own abilities, so now its just taking things one at a time. ccas are another problemetic area. must find a way to squeeze them in. and of course there still is my great project. so time is definitely at a premium. i must start managing my time better. today i went minds. nothing much. it was what happened after that that was more interesting. i had a great talk with this indian girl. i don't usually talk very easily with girls, but i guess she was very friendly. like she came to sit with me on her own accord. that really shocked me. and i suppose she is not one i would date so in a way that made things easier. i still think that joining csc is more for my own selfish goals than anything else. hee hee. i am such an evil guy.

Had a restless night last night. think tea doesn't really seem to have much effect on me until i'm trying to sleep. then it really amplifies my thoughts so that i just keep thinking of stuff until i can't sleep. last night i was just thinking about the taboo game and how i could have done better. And of course i keep thinking abt sl. so much for friendship. i spent so much time with my jc friends and hospital friend but the one i think abt most is e girl. sigh... Anyway, life goes on. Friends come and go and come back again. We do get 2nd chances. Be natural, just be yourself. Verbal + brain diarrhoea. I was thinking of all the friends that I have lost contact and met again. Like pm. If i wanted to, i could so easily try to breathe life into the friendship, but sometimes, there is just no point. anyway, i just remembered i have to call someone. someone special who has stopped contacting me for some reason.

I feel quite sian today. I keeping having the nagging feeling about going for USP o week but I just didn't want to tire myself. Am i becoming a taoist myself? Today was suppose to be meet the USP advisor lunch but I was playing FM in the morning and failed to see the email. Damn i always regret it when i play comp games. Anyway, i'll definitely stop playing once school starts. Now its just the opposite. I want to cram in some sloth, some decadence, before the school starts. So I guess i have nothing to complain. Hard work pays off in the end, but laziness pays off now. ha ha. I love that comedy thesaurus. Ytd was a crazy day for me, as expected. But the thing i realised was that nobody gives me any respect. Not that i was totally naive before, but at least i thought pple would listen when i talked. but seems like it doesn't even reach that level. maybe its the way i talk. i know it sounds weird, but i didn't think it would be such a big deal, so i never got down to really fixing it. i had a few half-hearted attempts, but it's difficult to fix cos it sounds perfectly fine to myself most of the time. but maybe i'll try to implement some of the advice pple have given me and get rid of this problem for good. sighhhhh....

I've really had a lot of philosophical breakthroughs in the last few days, but first of all i really have to lament my poor state of chinese. I found out that I forgot how to write a lot of chinese words, but its a pity this comp doesn't have chinese writing software so I can't practise. Back to the main topic, yeah, I just came back from seeing my friend in hospital and I already told him about most of it, so i'm too lazy to say it now. Mainly I just feel like a different person, with so much new motivations to carry my life in a new direction. Firstly, I want to be less phoney. Yes, this is from the phoney bustard, but yeah, i really want to cut in down, although its impossible to totally cut it out. Next, I want to be more confident in approaching pple. But when it comes to girls it's always a problem. But i think i shall just postpone the thought of getting a gf for the time being. Maybe it will make talking to girls easier. Anyway, I really want to realise my plan, my campaign: "Stand up, Speak up". In 6 months, I want to organise a massive publicity campaign to get pple to stand up for elderly/pregnant women etc on buses and MRT. It will involve pple who will take a pledge to do so or kindly ask others to do so. And it will educate pple on the harm they do if they let elderly/pregnant women stand. If I can pull this off successfully, it will really change Singapore man. It will generate a culture of having the courage to speak up for your beliefs. Wish me luck!

shit i'm damn pissed. yesterday i was reading this advert on this great laptop deal by hp and today when i tried to find it, guess what, that exact page is gone missing. apparently my parents must have used it as table cover for dinner. I can't believe it man. Why so zun?! And all the laptops at nus are really shitty deals man. Only 3 models out of all the comps that the 6 vendors are selling are less than 2000. Fuck man. they think students very rich is it? And thats when i tried to find that hp advert. Fuck. Fuck Fuck. Fuck this world.

Hey guess what, i just found it again. yippie! It was in monday's papers, not tuesday's. ha ha. now i'm happy again. life is crazy.